Could someone in your family benefit from behavioral therapy to combat their anger or rage problems? This blog will help you answer this question and take steps because, let’s face it, people are complex beings with lots of emotions, including anger. After all, everybody has frustrations or triggers that make them angry, but most know how to handle them effectively.
However, many others fly off the handle at the tiniest issues. Verbal and even physical violence might follow and put their friends and family in danger. Whether this problem impacts you or your child, it’s critical to understand its roots and ways of managing it effectively.
At A Cognitive Connection, our team of experts deeply understands behavior issues like these and can help you or your child understand them more deeply. Just please know that a rage attack doesn’t make you or a loved one a bad person. Or even a dangerous one. There’s a chance that you or your child might have a disorder that makes anger management more difficult. Thankfully, our treatments can help you get through this experience safely.
How Does Rage Differ From Anger?
Many individuals might think that rage and anger are the same thing. However, there’s a pretty big difference: rage is far more extreme and violent. Specifically, the medical section of The Free Dictionary defines rage as “a state of violent anger.” So, you might get angry that you stubbed your toe on your desk but go about your day without any malfunctions beyond maybe cursing a little and getting a little sympathy from your fellow co-workers. We’ve all been there.
Now, let’s take this simple “toe-stubbing” scenario and expand it to include some out-of-control rage. Let’s say you stub your toe on your desk at the office. Instead of grunting, rubbing your foot, and getting on with your day, you scream so loud your boss hears you in their locked office on the other side of the building. You then violently kick the desk, rock it back and forth, slam a book on the floor, and glower at anybody who tries to stop you. That, my friend, is classic rage.
Rage is Out of Control
Using this definition, rage is essentially an unnecessarily aggressive and violent reaction to something minor. Screaming and throwing a pillow at a barking dog is not rational: it’s rage. However, rage is rarely a simple problem that comes and goes without warning. In fact, it’s often something that’s been building up in you for a long time without any warning. Here’s a common example right out of newspaper headlines involving a domestic incident between partners:
A wife asks her husband to take out the trash on Sunday and he suddenly falls into an unnecessary rage. It gets bad enough that the neighbors call the police. Though the man doesn’t hit her, he screams so loudly that everybody is very worried for her safety. Once they arrive, the man has calmed down but explains that he’s “sick of (his wife) nagging him all the time.” He reacted irrationally to her calm request because he perceived her as “nagging” him when, simply, they had chores that had to be done and she was busy doing something else.
Why This Was Rage and Not Anger
An article published on Mastering Anger does a very good job defining the differences between anger and rage. Firstly, it states that anger is “focused on the present,” while rage is “focused on the past.” So, in the example above, the man fell into rage because of what he perceived to be previous instances of his wife bothering him or asking him to do things unnecessarily. Like most cases of rage, it built up over time and erupted like a volcano without warning or good reason.
Furthermore, anger can be controlled while rage can’t. The man, in this case, immediately lost control of himself and became unnecessarily upset and violent. Even though he didn’t hit his wife, emotional harm is just as devastating. This destructive action not only upset and trauamtized her but impacted their relationship. It also affected their relationship with neighbors and eventually led to the woman leaving him when he later fell into a similarly aggressive state.
A Simple Checklist
If you’re still confused about whether or not you’re experiencing stress, anger, or rage, here’s a checklist further defining anger versus rage:
- Anger can be healthy or unhealthy. Rage is always unhealthy.
- Anger is usually non-violent. Rage is violet and destructive.
- Anger usually includes a quick response. Rage occurs after a build-up of emotions.
- Anger can be used to solve problems. Rage divides people.
- Anger often involves finding solutions to the problem. Rage blames others for it.
Anger is often a part of our day-to-day lives. We might feel angry for a second when the dog walks in front of our legs and almost trips us. Or frustrated when our boss briefly criticizes us before providing praise. Or annoyed when our best friend forgets to call us to hang out. Those emotions come and go without any danger. Rage is excessive, violent, and dangerous.
Why Do People Feel Rage?
One of the most frequently asked questions we get about rage is “Am I a bad or my child a person because I/they had a rage attack?” Absolutely not because lots of people do. That said, it’s not a healthy reaction to anger but one that’s far more common than many people realize. In fact, it happens in people at all ages, including shortly after birth to just before passing away.
Simply put, rage attacks occur when people don’t understand how to manage their anger impulse. They either lack the maturity to process this emotion or let it build up before snapping. Let’s say your child gets upset because they want to go out for pizza but you decide to stay in. It’s a problem you run into occasionally and your child usually does the same thing every time.
They cry briefly, complain, and avoid talking to you briefly. However, they eventually come back to the table and eat. That’s an angry reaction, even if a bit overdone. Your child didn’t aggressive or violent because of their frustration. If they decided to hit your or their siblings or even knock dinner on the table, they’re experiencing a rage attack that must be controlled.
Symptoms of Rage Attacks
If you’re not sure whether you or your child has ever had a rage attack, here are a few more examples that usually include symptoms like yelling, shouting, or physical acggression:
- A child falling on the ground and kicking the air in a tantrum
- Slapping, hitting, or kicking a sibling during an argument
- Screaming unnecessarily at a partner in a minor fight
- Cutting someone off angrily in traffic because they drove too slow for you
- Shoving a person away from you during a terse discussion
- Getting into a fist fight over a minor disagreement
- Seriously hurting someone after a mild argument
Intermittent Explosive Disorder
People who repeatedly show signs of rage might have intermittent explosive disorder. As defined by the Mayo Clinic, this condition “…involves repeated, sudden bouts of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts.” The reactions are too extreme for the situation and may include road rage, temper tantrums, or even domestic abuse.
This long-term condition can come and go in many people. Some might experience no symptoms for years, while others break into rage-filled diatribes every other day. Our team at A Cognitive Connection provides multiple resources that can help you with this and other behavioral problems. Later, we’ll go into more detail about behavioral therapy for rage.
When Is Rage a Problem?
People who intermittently experience rage might not have a serious problem but should realy consider mastering relaxation exercises, like meditation, to handle their anger more effectively. Often, a simple personal redirection can help a lot here and minimize a person’s severe reactions. However, when paired with serious emotional problems, rage can spiral out of control.
For example, Very Well Health states that conditions like bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and intermittent explosive disorder can worsen a person’s rage and make it excessively extreme. Rage is a problem when paired with conditions like these or when it causes problems like:
- Violent actions between loved ones that impact your relationships
- Emotional issues that make your life very hard to handle
- Legal problems caused by rage-control issues
- An inability to stop your rage once it gets started
- Repeated rage attacks that get worse with time
- A child who’s rage threatens themselves and others
- Potentially self-injurious behavior during a rage attack
- Suicidal thoughts or behaviors triggered in a rage attack
Can Behavioral Therapy Help With Rage?
Yes, behavioral therapy is a powerful tool for managing rage, no matter what a person’s age. In fact, it’s often best to start this treatment as early as possible to break various destructive patterns that may worsen a person’s symptoms. An article by Healthline defines several key behavioral therapies that might work well for you or your children, including things like:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT is a powerful therapy that helps manage problems like rage attacks by replacing bad patterns of behavior with good ones. It’s the basis of mostl behavior therapies and very powerful.
- Psychodynamic Therapy: Psychodynamic therapy teaches people to deeply understand their unconscious motivations to alleviate inner tension. People also learn how to express anger in healthy ways, including not bottling up minor annoyances.
- Group/Family Therapy: Group or family therapy helps an individual work through their rage problems in healthy ways either with other individuals with rage disorders or family members. In this way, they can work through their problems with support.
- Play Therapy: Designed for young children, play therapy helps therapists understand a child by watching them play. In this self-directed treatment, little ones often reveal their rage triggers in effective ways to teach their parents a little more about them.
DIY Rage Therapy: Is It Possible?
People with occasional or intermittent rage might not need therapy to mitigate their symptoms. The Mayo Clinic provides some beneficial self-treatments individuals can try before calling us at A Cognitive Connection. If you have occasional rage, try these steps first:
- Learn to think before you speak to avoid spiraling into rage
- Visualize goals that help you stay focused and avoid anger
- Express the reasons you’re angry before flying off the handle
- Master meditation or deep-breathing exercises in moments of rage
- Manage your stressors appropriately to avoid any issues
- Avoid blaming others when angry and focus on yourself
- Stop holding grudges and learn to forgive others and yourself
- Cognitive training that enhances your mental sharpness
- Use appropriate humor to lessen tension (lightly pick yourself a bit, it works)
When these approaches don’t work or your rage problem gets so severe you hurt others, experience depression, or feel out of control of your life, it’s important to reach out for help. At A Cognitive Connection, our reputation speaks for itself. Our clients trust us to get to the root of their emotional issues using behavioral therapy techniques to ensure that you or your child are happy and healthy.
How Can A Cognitive Connection Help?
Our crew at A Cognitive Connection understands multiple types of behavioral therapy treatments and can work you or your little one through rage management therapy in powerful ways. We personalize all our recovery methods to suit the needs of our patients. By working with us through these powerful steps, you can learn more about yourself and manage your rage:
- Cognitive Brain Training: Our team of cognitive trainers can use powerful tools like V.I.B.E.S. and Mind’s Eye to help calm you down and make it easier to visualize new goals. You’ll walk away with a better coping mechanism for those angry moments in life.
- Behavioral Assessment: During our behavioral assessment, we’ll pay close attention to how you or your child behave. Using this important information, we get a pretty good idea of who you are and what might be causing your rage problems.
- Behavioral Counseling: During our counseling sessions, you’ll learn adaptive behaviors, social skills, and other essential strategies to manage self-interactions and minimize potential rage reactions in yourself and your child with ease.
- Behavioral Consultation: When rage problems occur due to developmental disabilities or disorders, we’re here to help. Our consultations will help you build a behavioral therapy support plan to improve your social skills, manage your moods, and keep you happy.
We also host useful events, such as parenting classes, individualized tutoring, and cognitive and social skills classes. These beneficial support teams can teach you how to handle your child’s anger, give your little one the support they need to manage their rage, and teach you both how to better communicate. Working together through therapy is a powerful boding experience.
Reach Out to Us To Learn More
Our team at A Cognitive Connection is more than ready to help you get through your emotional struggles with quiet grace, dignity, and respect. When you call us at (719) 358-6637 or use our contact form, you can set up your appointment with our team. We’ll talk with you or your child about your anger, find out why it becomes rage, and help you through various behavioral therapies. With our help, you can put unnecessary anger behind you for good.
